Attack of the Cupcakes
by RobinL
Summary: Ranger walks into a trap.  Babe fic.


**Title**: Attack of the Cupcakes

**Author**: Robin

**Disclaimer**: JE owns 'em, lock, stock and two smoking cupcakes.

**Warning**: Some cupcakes were harmed in the writing of this story, but none of them were humans. :-) No offense is meant by the title, but this is a Babe fic.

**Rating**: R for some language and mild smut of a Babe nature.

Normally Ranger slipped into her apartment like smoke, despite the lock and the chain on the door. At least that's what Steph thought he did. Really, he just opened the door and walked right through. Steph had been begging him to demonstrate the mechanics of picking her locks for ages, but every time she'd start up, he'd just smile mysteriously and tell her it was a secret. The truth was he got a kick out of his Batman image and didn't want to spoil it. And the mechanics weren't all that sexy or impressive. He had a push pin and rubber band for the chain and a copy of her key. Sure, he could pick the lock if he wanted, but why waste time on the James Bond shit when you don't have to?

Usually he reserved the breaking and entering for late at night, when Steph was fast asleep. Watching her in her bed, with her hair fanned out over her pillow, one leg thrown over the covers, chest rising and falling steadily was akin to a religious experience for Ranger. It calmed his savage spirit and he could release all of the day's frustrations. Some might consider it stalking, but he didn't think Steph minded. On the few occasions when she'd woken up, she had simply picked up the edge of the covers and invited him to join her, settling into his arms and falling back asleep with a contented sigh when he did. Without the invitation he just sat in the little chair in the corner of the room, which no matter how many piles of clothes had accumulated on Steph's floor, always had a space cleared for him.

Tonight, though, Ranger could see that there was a light on in the little apartment, even at this late hour. Scanning the parking lot, he picked out Steph's latest vehicle, but not Morelli's truck. Ranger's men had reported that lately Morelli's truck was spending an awful lot of time parked outside a duplex in the Burg that belonged to a leggy blonde. He wasn't sure if Steph knew about Morelli's extracurricular activities, but was hesitant to spill the beans. He didn't like the life expectancy of the messenger that brought her that information. Still, he didn't want Steph hurt. He'd have to suck it up and tell her. After all, being a superhero was all about self-sacrifice, right?

He climbed the stairs to the second floor even though the elevator doors were standing open, just waiting for a passenger. He never took the elevator in this building, because it was slow and because on one occasion when he had, the little old lady that like to play operator made a pass at him that involved her hand on his ass. The memory still made him shudder. Once he made it to the second floor, he followed the scent of chocolate to the end of the hallway, right to her door. The sweet aroma reminded him of the night they'd spent together. Steph had been baking cookies that night and her kisses had tasted of chocolate and sugar and buttery goodness. It was enough to make a man question his food pyramid. Standing in the hallway, he wondered what occasion prompted Steph to break out the baked goods this time.

When he put his hand on her doorknob, it turned easily, already unlocked. That was strange. Even though every criminal in a 40 mile radius was capable of breaking into her apartment, and most had, she still religiously kept it locked. Worry puddled in his stomach as he entered. Steph had been in too many tight situations for his taste, attracting trouble like ants to a picnic. He stepped into the shadowy foyer and stopped, listening for any unusual noises.

He strained his ears, but there was nothing to hear, not the sound of Stephanie breathing, not the creak of a floorboard, not even Rex rustling in his woodchips for a stray treat. He supposed it was possible that Stephanie had stepped out for a moment and had left the apartment empty, but part of him was reminded of the night he'd walked into Scrog's trap. There was a tension about the quiet, as if the space was waiting for something to happen.

It did the moment that Ranger stepped beyond the little wall that concealed the entrance from the rest of the apartment. With a primal scream and a flurry of motion, Steph unloaded an armful of objects at Ranger. Stunned by the sudden and unexpected onslaught, Ranger just stood there. He was pelted with what felt like rocks all over his chest and arms and one final one, which smacked him painfully on his forehead. It stuck there for a moment before it dropped to the ground and Ranger watched it fall realizing that it wasn't a rock at all. It was a cupcake.

He looked up at Stephanie who was still standing in her living room, staring at him, but now her hands were covering her gaping mouth and her eyes were wide with horror. She swallowed hard and breathed, "I…oh...oh my God, Ranger. I'm so sorry. I thought you were Joe..."

Ranger reached up with one index finger to wipe the chocolate icing that was dripping down his forehead from that final, perfectly aimed shot and licked it silently. He didn't often indulge in sweets, but this chocolate icing was good. He looked down at his shirt that was now covered in globs of sticky chocolate goo. He turned his head to the side and saw that one of the cupcakes had gone wide of its target and lodged into the drywall next to his head. Stephanie made some solid cupcakes. The absurdity of the situation struck him and he started to laugh, the sound starting low in his gut and building momentum until it surged out of him in uncontrollable bursts.

Stephanie watched Ranger's reaction with a mental sigh of relief that he wasn't angry and there wouldn't be a one-way ticket to Liberia in her future. As he doubled over with laughter, she even managed to giggle. Unlike her, it wasn't everyday that Ranger came out of a confrontation covered in food. Soon she was cracking up along with him, laughing so hard there were tears in her eyes and a stitch in her side.

Long minutes later when they were more composed, Ranger managed to speak, though he was still chuckling, "You never disappoint, Babe." He walked toward Stephanie in the living room and pulled her into a hug, deliberately sharing the mess on his shirt with her.

"Stop. Ranger!" She squirmed, laughing and trying to escape his embrace. "Yuck."

"Yes, yuck. And they hurt," he said, holding her close now that she'd given up on getting away. "What did Morelli do to earn this welcome?"

"He's been running around on me. But you probably knew that already, since I found out from Lula who found out from Tank." Steph pulled away from him and managed to raise an eyebrow.

Ranger made a mental note to have a discussion with Tank about the dos and don'ts of pillow talk, before answering. "I got confirmation just a few hours ago, Babe. Didn't want to jump to any conclusions. But, I came over tonight to fill you in. To see if I could do anything." Looking at the half-dozen, or so, very dense cupcakes littering the ground, he smiled, "But, I can see you have the situation under control without my help. So, you were planning to ambush him and then what?"

"I invited him over to tell him I never wanted to see his sleazebag ass ever again. That is if he didn't get the picture after the whole cupcake thing." She closed her eyes and shuddered, "God, I hate that nickname."

Ranger smiled, "Me, too. But I think it's a good thing you got me instead of Joe. You could get into trouble for assaulting a cop and in the right hands, those cupcakes could be deadly weapons."

Steph rolled her eyes, "I know. They look good, but they aren't fit to eat. I must've gotten some of the ingredients wrong. But, hey, I never claimed to be Betty Crocker."

"Personally, I think you're on to something." Ranger teased, "If Rangeman ever runs out of ammo, I'll just have you bake some more cupcakes." She smacked him on the arm for that, her hand squishing into some of the icing clinging to his sleeve. Ranger took her hand in his and brought it to his mouth, gently licking the chocolate from her palm. "The frosting's pretty good, though," he added, kissing the spot he'd just cleaned.

Stephanie's knees had weakened at the delicate touch of his tongue to her skin and electrical impulses were skittering along her nerve endings. "It's Duncan Hines," she answered dazedly, his lips and tongue scrambling her circuits. Deciding to turn the tables, she tilted her head and licked a trace of chocolate from the side of his neck, making him groan.

He dipped his fingertip in a spot of icing and traced it over her lower lip, then lowered his head to kiss and lick it clean. "It's good," he said, "but only if I get to eat it off of you. I think we should celebrate the death of 'Cupcake' by letting me de-frost you. What do you think?"

Steph had stopped thinking the moment his lips met hers, so it took her a moment to realize he was waiting for her answer. She was just standing there with her eyes closed, swaying slightly, her lips parted from their kiss. She gave herself a mental head shake and answered, "Um, yeah. That would be good." She reached up to his neck and brought his mouth back down to hers, but before they met she remembered, "Wait. Shit. Joe's gonna be here any minute."

Abruptly, Ranger pulled away from her and moved toward the door. For one horrible moment, Steph thought he was leaving. But instead he bent down and picked up one of the cupcakes from the floor which still had most of its frosting. He opened the apartment door and in icing, wrote, 'Fuck off, Joe.'

He turned to her and raised one amused eyebrow, "What do you think?"

God, she was enjoying playful Ranger. She tilted her head to the side, as if considering. "I like it. Short and to the point."

"I doubt there will be any question about where you stand," he said as he closed and locked the door. When he turned to Steph, he was wearing his full-on wolf grin. A thrill of excitement shot up her spine as he stalked toward her, slowly unbuttoning his shirt. "I think it's time to get out of these dirty clothes," he said shrugging out of the sleeves and dropping the ruined garment to the floor.

In a bold move, Stephanie reached down to the hem of her t-shirt and peeled it over her head. Ranger stopped a few feet from her and watched as she undid her jeans and pushed them over her hips, stepping out of them when they hit the ground. Standing there in only her lacey lavender bra and panties, she reached out her hand to Ranger, inviting him to come with her, to touch her, to claim her.

He laced his fingers through hers, placing a kiss on the back of her hand and tugged her toward the bedroom pausing only to scoop up the container of icing as they passed through the kitchen.

Stephanie lay back on the bed and watched Ranger remove his remaining clothes. He was everything she remembered and more. His exotic skin tone, bulging muscles, abdominal ridges and rills, and other prominent assets all added up to one drool inducing man. And when he crawled onto the bed with the grace of a big cat pursuing its prey, Stephanie's nerves were singing in anticipation. It had been too long since she'd had this man in her bed. She'd wasted so much time and didn't want to waste another moment. Immediately she reached for him trying to draw him into her embrace.

He resisted with a rumbling laugh, "Relax, Babe. There's no rush. I want to savor every part of you, to drink you in, to eat you up." Ranger dipped a finger into the icing and painted her skin with it, his finger tracing down her throat, across her collarbone and along the valley between her breasts. His tongue then followed the same path, relishing the sweet treat and the taste of her skin. For Stephanie, the mixture of temperatures and textures already had her on edge.

He repeated the process down her stomach, his tongue playing in the depression of her belly button. He moved lower until he finally found nirvana, feasting until Stephanie was transported with bliss, quivering in excitement. And when Ranger slid into her welcoming warmth, he felt as though he were coming home.

They played and cavorted and made love deep into the night, finally curling together to sleep when they'd exhausted each other and all of the chocolate frosting.

_The end_


End file.
